OK, so by my age I should have learnt not to find humour in other’s misfortune… A week or so ago there was a news story that an entire movie theatre filled with 7 year olds for a party were shown 15minutes of SAW 5 while parents covered eyes and panicked and distressed theatre staff were saying “cover your eyes we are working to fix this problem”. Meanwhile a woman is being sawn in half graphically. I thought that this was horrifying and yet hysterical. I mean HOW does that happen??? Not an accident but a disgruntled employee me thinks!

So, the karma part, weeeeeeeeeellll….. zq has this lovely friend, zq take 2, Jake. He is adorable and they are great friends. They have become quite inseperable which means that there are many “I’ll pick him up from school” playdates. I love his family they are fabulous people. All is well…. and here is the but, I forgot to mention to the family often in charge of my child’s wellfare that he is an extremely sensitive child when it comes to visual stimuli. I also forgot to mention that youtube unsupervised is NOT a good idea for him. THAT lesson has been well learned! So Jake likes horror movies and the boys got the bright idea that they would watch “annoying orange” on youtube. Which lead to killer bean…. at this point we are still ok… but then we get to “THE KOOLAIDE KILLER”. Now, let me just point out that I love horror and gore and grindhouse movies. LOVE them. However they are not for everyone and I don’t imagine zq will ever be one of those people. Some like rollercoaster rides some don’t. I thought “the koolaide killer” was hysterical, zq however is traumatised probably for life. I imagine he will never see the koolaide man and not be nervous at least until he is well into his 20s! I picked him up that night, we all actually ended up staying for a lovely dinner. What seemed like a great day. All in bed late but hey you have to make time for casual socialisation or why are we on this planet?? So I am starting the dishes at about 11pm. I think to myself “did I just hear something?” and my rule is if I ever think that I go check the kids as you never know when your gaudian angel might be whispering in your ear. Upstairs I find burried deep under the covers a terrified boy trembling and sweating and still very much awake. I take him into my bed and try to figure out what on earth is wrong with a boy so terrified he can’t speak. At midnight he finally tells me he saw “a little red man thing with BIG muscly arms killing people on the internet”. WTF did he see I wonder?! BQ and I stay up until 2am trying to settle the poor guy. It was just awful. He can’t be in the dark and even driving in the car in the dark last night was too much. I wish I could just take it away for him.

So, never tempt the karma bus… it WILL find you.

On a happier note, eq thinks he is the next Justin Beber. He is soo funny. I would like to formally give my appologise to all future girlfriends, I truly did my best. I tried I really tried. Ok, so we are looking at his crazy shabby hair on Sunday night and I get the bright idea to show him pics of boys haircuts on the internet. Where do I get these crazy ideas from??? So it turns out, his haircut is becoming the haircut of the day. Shabby, in your eyes, looks like you just got out of bed and even Justin Beeber is sporting it lately. Sigh. Failed mission, what I DID achieve however is to booster an already large ego! 2 kids in the school have already copied his haircut actually telling the hairdresser they want the “EQ style”. (WTF is EQ?? Asks the hairdresser!!) Now he has half the planet “copying” his style! OH BOY!! He comes home off the bus the next day and says to me “Hey Mum, how do you like my modified style?” He had been playing with it on the bus until it looked like he carrys a hollywood hairdresser in his backpack! He of course looked adorable so no keeping the ego in check from Mum! Then he proceeds to say “Check out my sad teen face. I’ve been practicing it, it will drive the girls crazy”. WHAT??? I am scared of what our future holds! Then just to top it after I took a picture of his lovely hair he says to me “Would you like my autograph? I’m cuter than Justin Beber.”

Thanks Giving has been and gone. We spent it at a freaking country club (yes me, at a country club). Luckily bq hated it in the end and thought it was horribly impersonal and fake. But his mom is sick so she gets a free pass. It was pretty funny to see little Layka dive under the buffet table and swing on the table cloth!

Life has been so breakneck busy it is hard to remember all that has gone on.

Last night I was up late after settling zq. 1.30am as I am just about to get to bed down comes a SCREAMING eq. He has an ear infection that is so obvious the one side of his face is swollen and red. I immediately apply lavendar oil and take him upstairs. His fever is raging and he is in terrible pain. I start MFR massage. After 1hour he hears a pop which caused pain then he said he felt so much better. I kept working on him as the swelling and redness is slowly dissapearing. By 4am the fever is gone and so is the redness. He starts screaming again though as now all the snot that was blocked is moving and he hates it going down his throat and refuses to blow GENTLY. At this point I finally loose my patience and send him to bed so I can get an hours sleep before getting up to take them to school. He is hysterical that he is in too much pain to sleep etc but I explain to him that he clearly is not in the pain he was in and what his body needs most is sleep to heal now. Also, the dr is not open until morning so he might as well just wait it out and let me sleep. I check on him at 6am to see if he is staying home from school to go to the dr and he pops up like NOTHING HAPPENED. He said he felt fine. I ask about his ear and he says he is fine but it is still blocked. So I work on it a little more while we wait for zq to get out of the shower. When I dropped him off at school he was bounding about and singing christmas carols!!! I should have taken photographs of his face and ear to have proof! What an amazing thing pure touch can be!!!

Ms Mary has picked aq to be part of her next team. She has formed an mini team, basically around aq. She thinks aq has what it takes to be the next superstar and is doing amazing things for her. I am so grateful. I wonder if she realises just how many girls would kill to have Ms Mary do half what she does for her! Working with the other little girl has been perfect for her too. The other little girl has fabulous focus and it is rubbing off on aq. She is looking fabulous.

The boys are doing great at gymnastics too. They can do tripple back handsprings, back tucks, front tucks… they look great.

Aq has been picked to star in the Elite Toma tv commercial. Which will be seriously cool. My girl on tv boy does she have a good luck fairy following her around! I am so glad. May she always be this blessed.

The suicide season has begun. I keep thinking this year will be the year no-one nearby decides to spoil their families Holidays forever but I am still waiting. I was in the PA meeting at zqs school yesterday when our PA president gets a call about her older son in high school. The school was in lockdown while they council the kids as his classmate commited suicide the night before. (They have to give counseling in the hopes of preventing copy-cats) The worst part, I was stuck in the traffic jam he caused the night before. Sigh. I end up having to leave the meeting and call bq in tears. After that stupid song hit me upside the head from pandora I have been back to the normal “here comes the anniversary” dread. The song was an 18 year old country singer with a gorgeous voice that belongs on someone MUCH older called “How do you get that lonely?” Well I’ll tell ya bud, sometimes life can be REALLY FUCKED UP. REALLY FUCKED UP!!!! and may you always and forever not understand that concept! (The song is about suicide) I still want to do my educate kids idea and go about high school talking to kids about how the pain ends for you, that part is certain but it doesn’t really end, it just transfers to all the people in your life. It may seem to you when you are down that low that no-one really cares but trust me, they will carry your pain in lieu of you for the rest of their lives! What’s more, IT MULTIPLIES!!! We will never, ever be the same. We will never, ever see life in the way we used to. I feel so cheated! Forced to loose my childhood before my time which was almost enough to crush my eternally rosey outlook I wandered about with, and now, carrying his pain, I often have to fight for what used to be naturally me! I know shit happens and we all have our loads to carry, but that doesn’t make that load any less like shit. So that’s my offloading that happens after only 1.5hours of sleep and now I need to get to cleaning the house. I literally have not been in it long enough to do more than dishes for weeks! We no longer have dust bunnies they are full sized monsters and they keep throwing messy parties coz I have no idea HOW the house could be such a wreak when we are NEVER IN IT!!!

Did I mention that my photographs got used in the promotional material for zqs school. Zq and AQ now imortalised as models

Nana is back in hospital. Great Uncle Collin died and left behind a loving wife of 61 years. Nathan needs surgery on his wrist. Maureens Mom died (& I couldn’t even go to the funeral for her as I haven’t done a funeral since Shannon’s and to make it even worse she was cremated). bqs mom is having a lumectomy today to remove breast cancer and starts radiation soon. All his Uncles & his Aunt are dying, not figuratively but literally from cancers. Merry Christmas everyone!! sigh. I refuse to be a grinch. Fuck it all I want to enjoy my few magical years with my kids. I will morn them all when I am old and rocking on a porch somewhere.

Ok really, work. My toes are frozen anyway. Need to move and defrost them.