BQ is still in PA and I selfishly want him to come home and give me a hug. He asked how I was tonight and I couldn’t even tell him “terrible please come home”. He needs to be there for his Mom and it is just a lump. So I am going to whinge about it here and get it out.

The last 2 hormonal cycles I have had a very sore breast, last night I discovered a lump. I was so convinced I imgined it that I woke aproximately every 2 hours last night to check I hadn’t dreamt it. It is still there and now more tender because I have been obsessively rubbing it to make sure I am imagining it. I have a Drs apt tommorrow which seems like forever away. I am sure it is nothing, just a cyst but still I find myself worried. I am probably just paranoid as I am officially the age Jill was when she got breast cancer. I hope my Dr realises his job tommorrow is to tell me there is nothing there and I am a hyperchondriac

Busy day today. Both boys had baseball and gymnastics. They look great at gymnastics. They are getting so strong. EQ had his first tball game and he plays first base very well and can hit the ball like a champ. ZQ is not as strong as the rest of his team as they have all been playing for at least 2 years but he has a great time and that is all that counts.

BQ is having a tough time in PA. Popi is not improving but at least not getting worse. Gaia is falling apart. We all just have to keep our fingers crossed.

I wish my boob would stop aching so I can put this out of my mind…