Last night while reading stories to the kids E puts his hand near my boob much like he did as a babe. I didn’t notice at first until he tried to cop a feel.
I decide it is time for me to explain to him that though he may like boobs mine are not for him. So I ask him what he is doing and he says “feeling my boobies”. I say “well though it is natural for you to like boobs it is not OK for you to fondle mine. Mine are private.” Well the word fondle was grasped and held on to! The boys immediately break into fits of laughter saying fondle is a great word. E even goes on to say “I love to fondle boobies.” OK I think I have let out a monster…. ooops. So then I am asked why my boobies are not OK to fondle. I try to explain that one day he will have a girlfriend and that maybe she will let him fondle her boobies but mine are mine and private. Well we now have tears spilling from the small boys who are laughing so hard I am wondering if they will blow a fuse! “I can get a girlfriend and fondle her boobies???!” UHOH!! I forgot a valuable piece of information here… I try to save myself … “well no. Not right now. Infact if you tried it right now you would get in very big trouble with that girls Daddy. When you are older, MUCH older.” (my neighbour points out in the retelling of this story that I should have said married and that would have gotten me right off the hook) So still in hysterics E then turns to me with his wheels churning behind his bright little eyes… “so does that mean Daddy gets to fondle YOUR boobies??!” OK so now I completely loose it and the contageous laughter has rendered me useless for making this situation more age apropriate. Note to self keep this page to reference for when I am pulled into the teachers office or some parents house for my boys inapropriate behaviour… oh dear what have I started.
So aparantly this was funny enough to relay to aq today as she was asleep when all this happened. As they were relaying the information eq comes up to me and of course asks “so what does aq get to fondle does she fondle something on a boy?” I give an empatic “NO!! If she does I will tape her hands to her head.” his response is “well then will a boy fondle her boobies?” “ABSOLUTELY NOT! Then Daddy will have to beat up a little boy and that will not be pretty” they calculate this as fair information at least and I breathe a sigh of relief that at least my little girl was spared the plunge into adult related material…